YFB March Issue- Love n' Relationships- How Healthy Is Your Relationship? {Niki H}

There has been much ado in the media lately about the importance of healthy relationships and their health implications.

One study found that bad relationships, i.e. those that cause a high level of stress, literally break the heart leading to heart attacks and other coronary complications. Previously, scientists also found that being single or having “few close relationships” could also have a similar effect.

Sounds quite ominous, doesn’t it? Damned if you do and damned if you don’t!

There are non-scientific, everyday, regular folk who are living out the research conditions in both studies.

There are two very glaring examples that we see everyday, falling on either end of the relationship spectrum. You probably know at least one person who falls into each category:

1. The ‘Serial Monogamist’ a.k.a Just Don’t Wanna Be Lonely *cue Freddie McGregor*
Sex: Male or Female
Motto: Single Never. Booed Up Ever!
Characteristics: This person is always in a relationship. You cannot blink fast enough… The seat where The Ex was sitting literally has no time to cool to room temperature before the next Ex-to-Be is there.
Subject may or may not typically express being in love soon after the new relationship commences.
Subject is often very intuitive and somehow able to foresee the end of a relationship; strategically allowing them enough time to scout, evaluate, select and train the next candidate approved for the job.

2. The Lone Ranger a.k.a ‘Solo Dolo’
Sex: Male or Female
Motto: Money Over (insert derogatory name for either sex here)
Characteristics: This person does not hold relationships in high regard. Carries the Player’s Guide to the Universe in their back pocket or oversized handbag and refers to the ‘Bible of Betrayal’ as fact. All the facts in this holy book are accumulated from the experiences of others except that one… The Creation Story, where some clueless bajohnny ran over the subject’s heart with an army tank.
Subject may also engage in promiscuous behavior but not always. Never speaks highly of Love or any thing remotely related.

Whether or not I’ve created these profiles in jest, you’ve already plucked two faces off your tree of friends that fit the profile or maybe… you just went to the mirror.

Whatever the case may be, the fact remains these profiles are two sides of the same coin. They are just the extreme possibilities that may result from previous hurt, and insecurity.

Neither is ideal. A ‘Serial Monogamist’ who jumps into relationships for the sake of not being lonely, taking no time to get into a relationship with him/herself, is creating that stressful heartbreaking situation over and over again – thinking before they leap from the frying pan to the fire.

‘Solo Dolo’, on the other hand who may just not be sure that what he/she brings to the table is worthy of sharing is also creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I am not saying that ‘Solo Dolo’ doesn’t have close relationships with friends and family, but process of love for family and love for a significant other differ somewhat.

‘Solo Dolo’ or ‘Serial Monogamist’, isn’t it hard enough managing exercise, diet and family history? Without having to worry about adding “poor relationship decisions” to the Heart Disease Risk Factors List?

There is nothing wrong with being single or in a relationship, as long as you are doing it for the right reasons.